We’re just puppets on stings, dancing to the tune of master’s we never chose. We’re just puppets on strings, stretching for things we can never have. Broken and bloody we dance so far from where we wish we were… Oh the whole world is just puppets on strings dancing from the fear of death and those things worse than death. Oh how I long to break from these bonds, to see you once more and dance our own sweet requiem for what was lost… Oh we all lose things to keep what we declare ‘dear’ out of the reach of harm, but can I not ask for something of my own? Can I break free from this sickening dance? Can we break free from this, our cold war game?

The room shouldn’t be this cold. The building had a heater, this he knew from all the times his brother had cranked it during the winter past the point of comfort. But still, he could swear he could see his breath, see Prussia shivering slightly though that could be for many different reasons.

“This won’t last forever you know? Those two will get over it and I’ll be at your place for pancakes before you know it.” Prussia laughed rubbing the back of his head. “But still, be careful, you can see that Ruskie from your house!” His face changed, more concerned “You won’t change your mind about where you sit in all of this?”

He winced slightly, he was all too aware of his position. “I’m siding with America Prussia. I’m not going to change my mind about this.” His voice was firm, the one you used when he had to actually make himself heard at meetings.

Prussia snarled, practically jumping out of his chair. “Dammit Matt, are you even thinking about this? You’re the one who keeps warning about that guy, do you really want to do this?” His red eyes flashed, pacing across the room.

“Gilbert, he’s my brother. I refuse to abandon him; I won’t leave him to deal with this alone.” Matthew jerked his chin up “The two of them don’t know when to say ‘stop’. They’re too close to it and neither one of them have been very good at understanding things like this.” He paused taking a breath “The Soviet Union won’t last forever, but Alfred’s charisma, Russia’s steadfast belief… Gilbert if someone doesn’t pull one of them back at the end of this we are all dead anyway.”

Prussia’s glare could set fire to water with its intensity, but it soon receded the albino retaking his seat. “This fucking sucks…” he muttered, almost pouting as he leant on the table. “I don’t even think that bloody Ruskie knows what a pancake is, let alone maple syrup…”

Matthew almost smiles at the Prussian’s words. That was how his friend normally was, complaining about the strangest things… He would miss it, he didn’t disillusion himself into thinking that they would be able to see each other the way they did during the war. He isn’t that naïve.

“Umm… Matt, would you do the awesome me an enormous favor? You see, I don’t really trust Russia, obviously.” Prussia rolls his eyes. “So could you maybetakecareofGilbirdwhileI’m gone?” The last part comes out in a blurted rush as he offers the small yellow chick to him. It peeps cutely and looks up at him with it’s black button eyes.

Matthew carefully takes the small bird into his head, nodding. “Of course I’ll look after him.” He hears the call for the meeting to resume, he doesn’t move, no one will notice he’s missing. Prussia stands up again, reluctant, radiating discomfort.

“I don’t want you to see this.” He grumbles, picking up his coat and leaving the room.

Usually he’d mind, protest even and follow after him. Today he knows the truth, this is something he can’t watch, not without screaming, not without showing how much this hurt to let happen.

He can’t change what is happening, none of them have any choice but to follow the whims of the greater ‘powers’ occupying that room. No matter what he chooses, that wall will still rise.

He wonders if this is what it feels like to be human and to know that death is always waiting for them.

“You’re a moron.”

“What?” he asked, looking down at the small child. He felt as if he should recognize him, as if he knew this strange blond child dreese in black with an even stranger hat.

“You heard me. You are a moron. You don’t remember who you were at all.”

“What do you mean? I know perfectly well who I am. I don’t even know you, why are you calling me a moron?” he replied, kneeling down to eye level. They had the same eye color he noted, though this child’s seemed… sweeter, more innocent.

“You are making me break my promise. And the fact that you don’t remember me proves my point. If you don’t remember yourself, how are you not a moron?”

“I don’t understand what you mean child. What is your name anyway?”

“What’s your first memory?”

“Prussia taking me home.” He automatically replied. The day was blurred, but he remembered it. He had been tired and he hadn’t understood why his older brother looked so sad looking at him. Looking back on it, it was strange. There was nothing behind that memory, a blankness that was sad, desperate. He could almost, almost if he strained his ears hear something that sounded like crying. It was familiar but he couldn’t put his finger on it…

“And nothing before that?” the child questioned. He looked enraged at his apparent lack of memory, for reasons he didn’t know, the he had a creeping suspicion. “No one ever told you anything?”

“No” his answer was firm, he had never asked his brother, never asked anyone about the time missing from his memory. It had never seemed important. Suddenly he wondered if it might have been. “What is your last memory, your strongest memory?” He challenged. If he was correct maybe this child would jog things, even a little.

The child smirked, it looked out of place somehow “Fighting, falling, darkness… and that promise to that person to return one day. And I will return, though things are different now. I won’t leave that person again.” The last was said with vehemence he didn’t think someone so small could possess.

He felt something stir in his chest at the child’s words. A fierce longing, like burning leaving a faded picture in his mind, like looking through distorted film. A figure in a garden… Soft, sweet, a voice he almost recognized….

“I’ll be waiting with lots of sweets… So come back soon…”

“Holy Roman Empire…” he whispered, looking at the tiny child. “Italia, Italy, how could I forget Italy?” it wasn’t clear, a vague memory in the place of blank space, a single memory trying to fill a large hole. For now though… for now it was enough.

He looked down at the child, no he looked down at himself. The expression on his face had changed, a soft smile that was foreign, but at the same time familiar. “This time we won’t make him cry.” He heard the words, felt them almost as if they were whispered from his own lips.

“No we won’t. But why, why wait like this? Will I become you?” he asked, desperately curious. This was him, but at the same time this child was not him. He was Germany, not the Holy Roman Empire.

The child shook his head. “You’ll remember, how you let that change that is up to you. I think I’ll fade, become a part of you. Italy loves you, loves all of you.” He smiled “How many people can say they fell for the love of their life twice? We’re different. You… you’re braver then I am, he trusts you more. I… admire you for that.”

He rubbed the back of his head. Italy… should he tell him? He had no proof, and barely any memories of back then to back him up. “I am barely braver then you Holy Roman. You at least had the courage to tell him, I’m not sure what to do…”

“Do things at your own pace. If there is anything I've learned from all these years inside our head its that Italy is more paitient then he appears. Maybe one day you’ll have sweets with Italy.” The boy smiled at him, fading slightly.

Germany grabbed the child’s hand. “We’ll have sweets with Italy. Because we are both of us. Holy Roman Empire, Germany… We are still Ludwig on the inside yes?”

The child’s smiled brightened, the room brightened, and he woke up, the child’s answer ringing in his ears.

“Yes… yes we are Ludwig.”

Smiling he got up. He had an Italian to talk to.

Good morning everyone! How is everyone out there doing today?
Personally I'm doing pretty well considering the nasty cold I'm getting over, but it shouldn't be to bad, today is only a half day at school because of parent teacher's today. This is probably the first year that parent teachers aren't throwing me into a panicked tizzy. Guess actually doing your work has a positive effect. :) 

I'm also in a good mood because yesterday I got the part I wanted in a Hetalia Role Play; my very first role play and I'm really proud of myself. I also got to watch the new episode of APH this morning. It was soo cute! Italy is so adorable, especially in his interactions with Germany. The bit about 'Reading the Atmosphere' was a laugh riot.

Then there are the books I got too! I got the new volume of Fushigi Yuugi, Me & My Brothers, Gentleman's Alliance, and Full Moon o Sagishite... I'm so happy! As you can tell I love reading and that these are all manga. I'm a huge manga fan and proud of it even if it does result in my wallet ending up pretty empty. *Sigh* Well that's the price you pay I suppose

So yeah that's just me talking.... Well bye for now, I have to go to school now.


-Isis

Goodness I sign up for so many sites, usually just because I want to get to something that is "Users only" blek thank god everyone i sign up for is free... In chat rooms people ignore me, cause half the time I have no idea what they are talking about because I just signed up, I'm not eligble for a lot of things because my account is still "too new" and I end up not coming back for some reason or another... But phooey on that, i should remember this time the url for the site :P

- Isis